What I have been up to (besides not blogging)

1. Working. I have three freelance projects going on right now and am supposed to be starting on my Big Project of the season any day now. While I haven't spent a lot of time actually working on the freelance projects, they always seem to take a lot of brain time for me – this includes things like email time, research time, and project-related down time, in which I'm not exactly producing anything but nevertheless feel myself to be "occupied" with the project.

2. Cleaning. The latest flurry of activity in this category was inspired by my discovery of a dead mouse in one of my panniers. I thought I smelled something funny when I was loading it up for work ... but a quick review of its contents revealed nothing but the smell, which somehow wasn't bad enough to really bother with until I got to work and started to un-load – at which point it became nauseatingly obvious that there was something terribly, horribly wrong going on in there. I took everything out – including the stuff I'd only rummaged through before – and found the culprit tangled up in the dark brown scarf I keep in there in case it turns out to be freezing at my office (which it usually is in the summer, thanks to an erratic AC system that happens to have its sole outlet directly above my desk).

Laundry ensued. And ensued. And ensued again. And once I was in the mode, I started cleaning everything. I love the feeling of knowing that absolutely everything in the house is as clean as it can possibly be. This doesn't mean I always spend this much time cleaning, but when I do feel inspired to do it – it always feels good.

3. Helping a friend take care of her father, who's in his 90s and getting ready to die. It's a difficult and sad situation, frequently unpleasant and not much in anyone's control – not the kind of situation I usually find very attractive – but I've been feeling like I need to make more of an effort to participate in meaningful community life, and to me this kind of participation is a lot more meaningful and satisfying than just meeting for drinks on someone's birthday or sharing a blanket on the lawn at the farmer's market – although I like doing those things too.

So far all I've really done is run errands, bring food, clean the house, and be there when the hospice people came by. I'm also on call for emergency overnight care, so she can get some sleep every once in awhile, although I haven't been needed for that yet.

4. Visited my family in Utah. This was earlier in July. I got there just in time for my niece's 10th birthday and my parents' 45th anniversary. My whole family was there, although never quite all at the same time, and I felt good being with everyone and refilling my stores of happy, healthy, big loving family energy.

Possibly I should write more about these trips when I make them, since they are the highlight of my entire life these days and something I really look forward to and enjoy. Talking about my family feels somehow too personal for this blog though – in fact sometimes the whole blog itself feels too personal – one reason I don't write much anymore. I do want to go on record though as saying that the more time I can spend with my family, the happier I am, and the more balanced and grounded I feel. And the more I wonder what it is exactly that I am doing, living all the way out here so far away from them still.

5. Sewing. I've made six or seven new dresses this summer and stocked up on supplies for other projects, enough to take me through the end of the year at least. A friend sent me pictures and instructions for making your own shoes, which I've always wanted to do, so I'm gradually amassing materials for that as well – most recently a lime green suede skirt that I plan to cut up for platform maryjane espadrilles, using a favorite old worn-out pair as a pattern, once I can figure out how to get the sole just the way I want it.

6. Watching movies. Last night Mr. A brought home the last Batman movie, from last summer ... the really creepy, dark one. Mr. A loves comic book/superhero stuff and I usually hate it, but for some reason I could not tear myself away from this one. Actually I know the reason – it was the Joker. He was just so convincingly awful and insane, the exact kind of villain that interests and disturbs me the most. Maybe the only kind. The totally broken, irredeemable kind who's just so ill and damaged you can't even quite exactly call them "evil" ... because they don't seem to be making a choice as much as they're simply expressing their nature, like an electrical storm or a diseased animal. There's no logic, no humanity there – nothing to appeal to and no way to save yourself except stay out of their way. After I watched it I couldn't even begin to think about going to sleep so I put a Walton's DVD in the machine and ran on the treadmill for an hour to dissipate some of the adrenaline. This one was from season six, not the family's finest year, but good enough to get me through that particular night.

7. Cooking and baking. Just your basic seasonal stuff, as necessary – over the weekend I made a chocolate zucchini sour cream cake to use up a huge zucchini someone gave me, the recipe for which I will post in the next few days (since I have to write it down anyway, to give to some people at work who liked the cake) – and tonight I cleaned and chopped and froze several grocery bags worth of the most delicious furry red peaches from Mr. A's parents' trees. They all get ripe at once and once they're ready they have to be either eaten or stored right away. The best, most perfect ones I set aside to eat fresh, and the rest I'm storing in quart freezer bags, just the right size for a batch of peach ice cream or a half dozen peach tarts. There's also this peach upside-down muffin/cake thing that appears at my favorite local boulangerie very occasionally, which I've always wanted to figure out how to make. Maybe this will be the year for that.

There's also a new kind of white bean and chicken sausage soup that Mr. A invented on Saturday that I've been swooning over ever since, that he's promised to teach me. I'll definitely post that one too – it's the best soup I've had since winter.