Also, forgot to mention
Because of all the upcoming changes in my insurance, I've been going to a lot of doctor's appointments lately. At the end of this month we go from a $20 copay to a $2000 deductible per calendar year ... which basically means all I have now is "catastrophic" coverage – all of my usual healthcare expenses will now be paid out of pocket. Kind of a ripoff, but under the circumstances I'm just glad to have any kind of coverage at all.
Anyway, I just wanted to record the fact that in the last couple of weeks I've seen the dentist, podiatrist, ophthalmologist and dermatologist for complete checkups and screenings, and have been given a clean bill of health (although the dour hygienist at my dentist's office always scolds me for not going in more often, which I hate – both the going in, and the scolding). So that's good. My feet show no signs of nerve damage, my eyes are exactly the same as a year ago (also good), and I have no periodontal disease, suspicious moles, or any other signs of imminent decay. Good to know.
The last appointment before my coverage is dropped will be with my regular doctor, a week from Monday. That means that THIS Monday I have to go to the lab and have all my blood work done again, so we can review it at my appointment. I really should have done this at the beginning of the summer but I spent the whole spring dealing with panic attacks and was afraid to find out what all that adrenaline and cortisol had done to my blood sugar, so decided to give myself a couple more months to try to get it back down again, in order to not have a higher A1C on my chart again.
Thinking of this just now I'm realizing how silly that was, putting it off. If I hadn't been so anxious and freaked out maybe I would have realized that that was actually a GREAT time to have an A1C done, because then I would be able to know what that kind of stress really does to my blood, instead of just guessing. Plus, if I'd done it in June, I could still have had another one now.
It's funny to see how easily I can still slip into that trap of wanting to look away from the things I'm afraid of, despite all my soapboxing about how important it is to always face up to the Truth, no matter how scary. The result is that now instead of having about eight months worth of information about what my blood has been doing, I will have only three months. I won't be able to find out what really happens when that anxiety hits, until three months after it's happened again.
Which hopefully it won't. I always hope I'll never have to deal with it again, even though I know that's probably not very realistic. I was actually thinking this week about some of the things I've done over the last six months or so to avoid having to interact with people, and it suddenly became clear that I'm still not quite over this latest hurdle. So I'm doing some things now to try and address that.
One thing I've done is started being a little more active again on some of the diabetes forums that helped me so much when I was first diagnosed. In fact, I even outed this blog on one of them today – in a very unassuming (I hope) way, not really promoting it, but putting a link and a brief explanation on my profile page so people can find it if they want to read about my "excellent diabetes adventure."
Why would I do that, when it's so important to me to stay anonymous and not make waves or draw attention to myself, especially among people I don't really know? Part of it is because I know I really need to stop indulging every single urge I have to hide, and make an effort to engage more every once in awhile. A more important part is because I started reading posts from people who have just found out they're diabetic, and started remembering how I felt and what I did at the very beginning, and I thought it really might be helpful or reassuring for some of those people to be able to read about my experience. So I just put it out there.
Now time for bed. There is a full pint of banana split Häagen-Dazs® in the freezer and if I don't get out of here right now I might do something I will regret.
Anyway, I just wanted to record the fact that in the last couple of weeks I've seen the dentist, podiatrist, ophthalmologist and dermatologist for complete checkups and screenings, and have been given a clean bill of health (although the dour hygienist at my dentist's office always scolds me for not going in more often, which I hate – both the going in, and the scolding). So that's good. My feet show no signs of nerve damage, my eyes are exactly the same as a year ago (also good), and I have no periodontal disease, suspicious moles, or any other signs of imminent decay. Good to know.
The last appointment before my coverage is dropped will be with my regular doctor, a week from Monday. That means that THIS Monday I have to go to the lab and have all my blood work done again, so we can review it at my appointment. I really should have done this at the beginning of the summer but I spent the whole spring dealing with panic attacks and was afraid to find out what all that adrenaline and cortisol had done to my blood sugar, so decided to give myself a couple more months to try to get it back down again, in order to not have a higher A1C on my chart again.
Thinking of this just now I'm realizing how silly that was, putting it off. If I hadn't been so anxious and freaked out maybe I would have realized that that was actually a GREAT time to have an A1C done, because then I would be able to know what that kind of stress really does to my blood, instead of just guessing. Plus, if I'd done it in June, I could still have had another one now.
It's funny to see how easily I can still slip into that trap of wanting to look away from the things I'm afraid of, despite all my soapboxing about how important it is to always face up to the Truth, no matter how scary. The result is that now instead of having about eight months worth of information about what my blood has been doing, I will have only three months. I won't be able to find out what really happens when that anxiety hits, until three months after it's happened again.
Which hopefully it won't. I always hope I'll never have to deal with it again, even though I know that's probably not very realistic. I was actually thinking this week about some of the things I've done over the last six months or so to avoid having to interact with people, and it suddenly became clear that I'm still not quite over this latest hurdle. So I'm doing some things now to try and address that.
One thing I've done is started being a little more active again on some of the diabetes forums that helped me so much when I was first diagnosed. In fact, I even outed this blog on one of them today – in a very unassuming (I hope) way, not really promoting it, but putting a link and a brief explanation on my profile page so people can find it if they want to read about my "excellent diabetes adventure."
Why would I do that, when it's so important to me to stay anonymous and not make waves or draw attention to myself, especially among people I don't really know? Part of it is because I know I really need to stop indulging every single urge I have to hide, and make an effort to engage more every once in awhile. A more important part is because I started reading posts from people who have just found out they're diabetic, and started remembering how I felt and what I did at the very beginning, and I thought it really might be helpful or reassuring for some of those people to be able to read about my experience. So I just put it out there.
Now time for bed. There is a full pint of banana split Häagen-Dazs® in the freezer and if I don't get out of here right now I might do something I will regret.
Labels: diabetes
1 Comments:
I'm sorry but i want to scream this so that your nds hmo can hear me: YOUR INSURANCE SUCKS!!! And I'm sorry you've had what sounded like decent coverage ripped away from you and your fellow coworkers.
Shame on your hmo.
Shame on our health care system.
Shame on the politicians and voters who fight against universal health coverage.
I am so angry right now I can't even respond to the rest of your post!
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