Can't keep a good puddle down

It appears my beloved puddle has not been annihilated after all – only transformed. Check it out.

Maybe I should've expected this. The whole reason it stayed full of water for such a long time when it was a puddle, was because of the soil's inability to drain in that spot. Why I thought paving it over would change that, I'm not sure ... just very glad I was wrong. How often do I get to say that?

So – lesson learned. You can pave paradise, but that doesn't change its basic nature.

Also, about apologies. Several bloggers I like to read have apologized lately that their writing isn't interesting enough, their photos not compelling enough, their direction and focus changed or no longer quite what it was when they first started writing – and have felt sort of outraged that anybody should feel that way, even though I've felt that way myself sometimes and have certainly made the same apologies often enough.

I decided I'm not doing that anymore. For me, blogging is a way to record my experience for myself, for my own use – now, as a form of therapy, and later, as a way to access what I was really thinking and feeling when I wrote each post, instead of having to rely on what I can remember about what I was thinking and feeling. That's pretty much it. I post it online because there are a few people who care about me that I like to share my life with, and because I've gotten so much out of reading other people's blogs, and want to pass on the favor. Every once in awhile I'll get a comment or email from someone I haven't met in person, telling me they appreciate something I've said, and that's always great.

Mainly though, the whole purpose of this blog from the beginning has been to serve as a wellness tool for me. I'm still happy with that definition, and there's really no room in it for apology – no need for it. This is good to remember. If every post seems wistful, melancholy or afraid, it's because that's where I'm at when I'm writing. Maybe it would be good to write more often when I feel good – and I do feel good sometimes, really! – but just as a way to make a more complete and thus more useful record. Not because I'm worried other people will think I'm boring and stop reading.

The return of the puddle in its new form made me really happy today. Also, a walk with the Taterman this morning, in which I took a grainy little camera-phone video of his legs and feet walking on our road. That walk is one of my favorite things ever and the fact that I get to do it every single day without ever having to hurry or cut it short is something about Now that I am really grateful for.