Stalking the yellow slingback

I finally came up with a decent stealth fashion photo, just in time for my birthday, which is today. Catching sight of this woman was actually kind of a thrill, because she's really beautifully and I'm going to guess even possibly kind of stylishly dressed – something of a rarity in this little farm and tourist town. This combination of gray and bright, chrome yellow is supposedly kind of hot right now, or so I have read. (Note the New York Times on the table here ... apparently some people around here do try to keep track of the rest of the world.)

Here's a close-up of the sandals. Not a style I would ever wear myself – any of it, actually – because it's too sort of ... I don't know, flimsy and refined, undoubtedly well-made but not meant to be sturdy, durable or even probably very comfortable. Plus, my feet are too wide and too important to me to wear strappy, thin-soled sandals.

Thinking of feet ... the other night I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and as I was stepping around the Jeeps (snoring away in the middle of the doorway – his new way of protecting me, since he can no longer hear a thing) I smacked my little toe hard against the bottom of the doorframe. It turned black and when I trimmed the broken nail it was all bloody underneath, and it occurred to me – a stubbed toe always hurts, but if I don't take care of my blood sugar this is exactly the kind of injury that could lead to my having a toe, foot or leg amputated. Like, within days.

I've read about this online in the diabetes forums; certain writers are super vigilant about reminding us newer diabetics to take rigorous care of our feet. So I put a pair of Crocs next to the bed and vowed never to get up again without immediately putting them on. They may not be as cute as a pair of bright yellow strappy slingbacks, but you can't wear slingbacks anyway if you've just had your feet chopped off.

Anyway. Rather a sobering thought at 3:43 in the morning.

I have been struggling a bit with my health issues again lately, first as part of my spring anxiety series and now just ... I don't know why, but it just seems to kind of go on for no apparent reason. My morning sugars have been back down where I like them to be for a couple of weeks now but I'm finding myself having to work very hard to keep them there.

The biggest problem is hunger – I just feel like I'm starving, all the time, even after I've just eaten a totally adequate meal. Now that I know this is a symptom of my condition, and not an indication that I need to eat something, you'd think it would somehow be easier to reign it in and ignore the urge to indulge. But it isn't. Hunger is such a primal, visceral, urgent experience – you feel like your very existence is in peril. At least that's how it feels to me.

So I'm experimenting again with different things I can eat lots of, that won't cause me to gain weight or blow my blood sugar goals. Water is at the top of my list, along with celery, leafy greens (without dressing), and all kinds of non-starchy vegetables plus fish, chicken and the occasional spoonful of peanut butter or ice cream, just for morale.

I'm supposed to have a new A1C in the next few weeks and I'm a little afraid to find out what it's going to be. I feel sure it will have gone up since my last one. But maybe it won't be as bad as I thought. And even if it is, it's always better to know, right? Then at least I can adjust my program to try to bring it back down again.

In other news, today is also my last day of work before my vacation, and a friend from work is throwing me a little party at her house tonight. While I do celebrate my birthday, I almost never have an actual party, so that will be something special.

P.S. I should probably mention that the podiatrist has pronounced my feet in excellent condition, and my smashed toe was completely healed within a few days. So no worries there, for now – just a cheery thought for the future!