Extended stay
It appears being laid off has left me even more disturbed than I had realized. Several hours into my six-day road trip with a friend, some baggage shifted and as I was leaning into the back seat to straighten it, my friend said something about how lightly I had packed. "I'd never be able to pack just one little bag for a two-week trip."
"Two weeks?" I said.
"Um ... we're going back next Tuesday, so ..."
"Oh. Next Tuesday."
Turns out I had not noticed the actual dates of the trip, and read the "Thursday ... blah blah blah ... Tuesday" part as being the same 4-6 day trip I almost always do when I come here. This is typical of the kind of mistake I might make when my mind is stressed and distracted, but I've never blown it to this degree before. Not that it's such a bad thing, though -- Mr. A is home with the dog and aside from missing them there really isn't any other reason to rush back home on my original schedule.
So I'm here until next Tuesday, and today I'm spending some time planning what I'm going to do. Definitely pump up the tires on my mom's bike, and ride around some. There are hikes I want to do, and friends to catch up with, and lunches to eat at posh mountain resorts ... Also, there's a freelance copywriting project my brother-in-law was nice enough to send my way, which needs to be done by Wednesday.
So the exercise is going to be essential, because my poor mind/body is still freaking out, even though I keep trying to tell it everything is going to be OK. The worst part is the steady stream of rejection dreams -- every night I get kicked out of the car at the side of a road in a strange place, locked out of a building, broken up with by a series of strangely faceless husbands and boyfriends. And it's not just the rejection, it's the humiliation. Almost all of the dreams end with me crying hysterically and begging to be taken back, and waking up drenched in adrenaline and stress chemicals.
So blah blah blah and woe is me, etc. I'm not sure what to do to make this pass any faster, so as usual I'm dumping it all out in this boring online journal in hopes of letting it go long enough to accomplish some work and get some enjoyment out of the day.
On a completely unrelated note: I'm writing this in my dad's office and just noticed the little green plastic wind-up frog I gave him a few years ago sitting on the desk, right in front of a picture of my grandparents. It was just a silly little gift, and he's kept it around all this time. Not only that, but it has a little piece of wire wrapped around it where he's very carefully repaired the mechanism that makes the arms move. For some reason this strikes me as a really sweet thing to have done.
P.S. As for packing too light for a two-week trip, I pack pretty much the same (as much as I can carry without sweating) whether I'm going to be gone for two days or two months, so that wasn't really an issue. I might get some new hiking boots while I'm here though, if I can find some that I like. We did about an 8-mile hike last weekend in some fairly rugged terrain, and hoo boy were my feet killing me by the time we were done. Don't want to repeat that experience, or cut a great hike short because my dawgs are barking.
P.S.2. And another thing -- I'm curious to know why the exact same 6 oz. package of raspberries, with the same label, from the same farm in California, costs $5.99 at home and only $2.48 here. Doesn't it seem like the cost of travel would make it more expensive here, instead of less? Same with the exact same label, exact same farm avocados -- 25 cents each here, vs. $2.99 at home. I will definitely be investigating this situation while I'm here.
"Two weeks?" I said.
"Um ... we're going back next Tuesday, so ..."
"Oh. Next Tuesday."
Turns out I had not noticed the actual dates of the trip, and read the "Thursday ... blah blah blah ... Tuesday" part as being the same 4-6 day trip I almost always do when I come here. This is typical of the kind of mistake I might make when my mind is stressed and distracted, but I've never blown it to this degree before. Not that it's such a bad thing, though -- Mr. A is home with the dog and aside from missing them there really isn't any other reason to rush back home on my original schedule.
So I'm here until next Tuesday, and today I'm spending some time planning what I'm going to do. Definitely pump up the tires on my mom's bike, and ride around some. There are hikes I want to do, and friends to catch up with, and lunches to eat at posh mountain resorts ... Also, there's a freelance copywriting project my brother-in-law was nice enough to send my way, which needs to be done by Wednesday.
So the exercise is going to be essential, because my poor mind/body is still freaking out, even though I keep trying to tell it everything is going to be OK. The worst part is the steady stream of rejection dreams -- every night I get kicked out of the car at the side of a road in a strange place, locked out of a building, broken up with by a series of strangely faceless husbands and boyfriends. And it's not just the rejection, it's the humiliation. Almost all of the dreams end with me crying hysterically and begging to be taken back, and waking up drenched in adrenaline and stress chemicals.
So blah blah blah and woe is me, etc. I'm not sure what to do to make this pass any faster, so as usual I'm dumping it all out in this boring online journal in hopes of letting it go long enough to accomplish some work and get some enjoyment out of the day.
On a completely unrelated note: I'm writing this in my dad's office and just noticed the little green plastic wind-up frog I gave him a few years ago sitting on the desk, right in front of a picture of my grandparents. It was just a silly little gift, and he's kept it around all this time. Not only that, but it has a little piece of wire wrapped around it where he's very carefully repaired the mechanism that makes the arms move. For some reason this strikes me as a really sweet thing to have done.
P.S. As for packing too light for a two-week trip, I pack pretty much the same (as much as I can carry without sweating) whether I'm going to be gone for two days or two months, so that wasn't really an issue. I might get some new hiking boots while I'm here though, if I can find some that I like. We did about an 8-mile hike last weekend in some fairly rugged terrain, and hoo boy were my feet killing me by the time we were done. Don't want to repeat that experience, or cut a great hike short because my dawgs are barking.
P.S.2. And another thing -- I'm curious to know why the exact same 6 oz. package of raspberries, with the same label, from the same farm in California, costs $5.99 at home and only $2.48 here. Doesn't it seem like the cost of travel would make it more expensive here, instead of less? Same with the exact same label, exact same farm avocados -- 25 cents each here, vs. $2.99 at home. I will definitely be investigating this situation while I'm here.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home