Braving up for yoga

Just a note to calm myself down – two months after joining the gym, I'm finally going to actually go there! It seems silly when I say it that way but it's true; every time I've thought about going, I've felt too shy. What if someone sees me?!?!?!

I'll have to do some thinking about this phobia I have of acquaintances. I'm not afraid of my friends, or of strangers either. Only of people I just sort of know. Enough to have to talk to them, but not enough to have a feel for what kind of person they are – which for me basically boils down to, are they kind, or not? Certain people who go to that gym are known to me to be ... well, I've seen them behave in really unkind ways. Normally I can handle that but when I'm in the state of mind I've been in all winter I find it really helps if I make an effort to have my personal interactions with others feel safe and good as much as possible.

Actually it's just one person I'm thinking of, who I really hope I never see or have to talk to again. It's not even someone who's been especially mean to me personally – but I've seen them deliberately exclude others, and speak really harshly behind people's backs so many times that I don't trust them, even when they seem to be nice. I just don't really need to be around people I don't trust right now.

Anyway, I'm going. My friend L is meeting me there for a yoga class. It's nice to have a friend I can tell about this weird glitch of mine, without having to worry that she'll think I'm a freak and write me off. Because it's actually not so weird, I think ... and not that disabling, either. I just have to make a point of walking through it.

So now that I've put off leaving as long as I possibly can without making myself late, I am going to yoga. It's supposed to be good for you, right?