Early morning note to self
I just finished my letter and resume for this job I've had my eye on, and I have to say, now that it's done and I can see myself on paper – I'm really not nearly as lame as I was thinking I was last night. Even with the stress of working more often than not for rinky dink operations and failing family businesses, I've managed to amass quite a decent list of accomplishments over the last 20+ years.
This particular job I'm applying for was open last December, but I decided not to go for it because it's not local or bikeable – it's in the next town, and so would have necessitated buying a car. It still is, and will, but suddenly I'm seeing it more for what it is than for what it isn't. It's a real company with a professional staff and presumably the resources to produce some pretty kick-ass product. Also, it's in an industry I like, that is growing – not an industry I can't stand, that is shrinking. And finally, the job description truly is a perfect description of what I do best; it's almost as if it were written with me in mind. I hope they'll see it that way, too.
About the new job posting, I wonder if they hired someone who's no longer there, or if they're growing and need more people? That might be a good question at the interview (assuming I get one) – showing that I've been following the company for more than a year .... Hrm...
Anyway, just wanted to follow up my doom-fest of the other night with a happier, more optimistic post. Even if this job doesn't pan out, I feel so much better having written down everything I've been doing, and realizing that just because I've been working for a struggling, dysfunctional, fast&dirty style company for the last five years, that doesn't necessarily mean I've lost my ability to do really great work. I haven't. And I'm starting to feel kind of excited about working again for people who value my initiative and perfectionism, instead of frowning when I go the extra mile (because it makes everyone else look bad), and criticizing me for my "ego."
Of course the fact that I suddenly feel better about myself doesn't mean I'm any more likely to get this or any other job. I'm anxiously aware that the job market is flooded with talented, experienced people with kids and mortgages and car payments and credit card bills and all kinds of other financial obligations that make them way hungrier and more desperate than I am, at least so far, and therefore possibly more aggressively competitive .... And even if I get it, it's the same kind of job that I've been laid off from so many times in the past ... fluid workforce, easy to outsource, sitting at a desk all day, etc. etc. But I can cross those bridges when or if I come to them.
For now I'm just glad to have this done. Everything I need to impress these folks is wrapped up pretty and sitting in my drafts folder, awaiting a final review tomorrow morning – after which I will hold my breath, cross my fingers, kiss the keyboard and press "send."
This particular job I'm applying for was open last December, but I decided not to go for it because it's not local or bikeable – it's in the next town, and so would have necessitated buying a car. It still is, and will, but suddenly I'm seeing it more for what it is than for what it isn't. It's a real company with a professional staff and presumably the resources to produce some pretty kick-ass product. Also, it's in an industry I like, that is growing – not an industry I can't stand, that is shrinking. And finally, the job description truly is a perfect description of what I do best; it's almost as if it were written with me in mind. I hope they'll see it that way, too.
About the new job posting, I wonder if they hired someone who's no longer there, or if they're growing and need more people? That might be a good question at the interview (assuming I get one) – showing that I've been following the company for more than a year .... Hrm...
Anyway, just wanted to follow up my doom-fest of the other night with a happier, more optimistic post. Even if this job doesn't pan out, I feel so much better having written down everything I've been doing, and realizing that just because I've been working for a struggling, dysfunctional, fast&dirty style company for the last five years, that doesn't necessarily mean I've lost my ability to do really great work. I haven't. And I'm starting to feel kind of excited about working again for people who value my initiative and perfectionism, instead of frowning when I go the extra mile (because it makes everyone else look bad), and criticizing me for my "ego."
Of course the fact that I suddenly feel better about myself doesn't mean I'm any more likely to get this or any other job. I'm anxiously aware that the job market is flooded with talented, experienced people with kids and mortgages and car payments and credit card bills and all kinds of other financial obligations that make them way hungrier and more desperate than I am, at least so far, and therefore possibly more aggressively competitive .... And even if I get it, it's the same kind of job that I've been laid off from so many times in the past ... fluid workforce, easy to outsource, sitting at a desk all day, etc. etc. But I can cross those bridges when or if I come to them.
For now I'm just glad to have this done. Everything I need to impress these folks is wrapped up pretty and sitting in my drafts folder, awaiting a final review tomorrow morning – after which I will hold my breath, cross my fingers, kiss the keyboard and press "send."
5 Comments:
Best of luck!
Yay! Congratulations on this big step. You're in my thoughts. (Minette)
yeah, tina! good luck.
I think you're totally underestimating your experience.
I've seen your work and you've done some kick ass stuff over the years.
Hope uou get this one.
BBT
Good luck with placing your totally mad skillz in these deserving hands, Tina.
Glen
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